It seems as though I like to bitch most about drivers, which is true. Probably because its such a rich and varied subject and has a lot of room for bitchin’. However, I’m willing to take a whack at the other side of the coin.

The Pedestrian. Da, da, da, daaaaaaaa.

You know the one. This is the person who scampers out into the middle of the road without warning, causing you to slam on your brakes and earn you the middle finger salute for your troubles. Doncha love ‘em? Happened to me yesterday. Now, I’ll admit that I’m not the world’s greatest driver. Ask my nephew. I believe his exact words were to the effect that I drive “like a bat outta hell”. Or something like that. I took it as a compliment.

Yes, I drive fast. But I’m careful. I slow and stop for red lights. I know what the yield sign means. And I always give pedestrians the right of way. Particularly in the winter. I’m aware that I’m in a nice warm car cruising along while the poor schmuck is freezin’ his or her butts off trying to get from point A to point B. I cut these people a lot of slack.

However, in the summer? C’mon, people. Its nice out. You shouldn’t be in any hurry to get where you’re going. You should be enjoying a sunny day. Yet, these are the ones who cross against the “Don’t Walk” sign, casually saunter across the street despite on-coming traffic which include the aforementioned “bats outta hell”, and who give you an indignant look and usually that middle finger salute if you lean on the horn after nearly nailing ‘em.

You gotta slow down, people, and smell the roses. Because otherwise you might be pushing up daisies. (I like this metaphor better than the one I was originally gonna use … which was something like “Ending up as a bug on a windshield”.)

Are you the type of person who needs to know absolutely everything about their disease, or would rather know the bare minimum and deal with it from there?

I know that some people, when they’re given the news that they have cancer, will research the hell out of it. They hit the libraries, the internet, ask family, friends and even strangers what they know. They want the who, what, where and how of it. They want to know the tried and true treatments, the experimental treatments, the mortality rate.

I guess I have to say that I swing the other way. Yes, I know what type of cancer I have … but of course its not coming to mind right now … beyond the fact that its breast cancer, of course. However, the fact that I cannot recall the exact type is not going to keep me awake at night. I know that I have an excellent oncologist who is doing everything he can to keep me on an even keel. I understand what the numbers mean when I get my bloodwork back. Beyond that … no, I don’t want to know too much.

Because you know what? It would probably scare the livin’ hell outta me. I know that I’m a stage four and that I’ll probably never see a cure. Unless there’s a huge breakthrough with cancer research, I can only hope for continued maintenance. But you know what? That’s okay with me. I’m very pragmatic about all this.

So, what do you prefer. Too much or too little information? I’m a bit curious.

And Remember …“YOU ARE A CANCER WARRIOR”

Just want to mention that I’ll be out of town today. I’ll try to get on the internet at some point, but don’t hold your breath. Anyway …

Just received a new Acer laptop computer the other day and I’m a happy camper. This sucker is nearly half the size of a standard laptop, but the keyboard isn’t awkward or difficult to use. The screen is a bit small, but the fact that its only something like two pounds more than makes up for that, in my opinion. Don’t recall what the memory is but I’m assured it will more than carry what I presently have on my laptop and then some. The only downside is that it doesn’t have a cd player. I’ll have to break down and purchase an external cd drive if I want to download some things. Pity … but I’m still pleased with my purchase.

I’ve been thinking about all the items I’ve bought over the years to make my writing easier. Let’s see, there’s the 2002 Toshiba laptop … my very first computer used exclusively for writing. My desktop computer, which is becoming the family computer, an Alphasmart (which I don’t use as often as I should) and then there’s the purchase I’m presently holding off on. An ebook reader. Can’t decide if I should save my pennies for a Sony or a Kindle. Decisions, decisions.

So, what toys to you have that you feel are absolutely necessary to your writing life?

Today my Bitch Session is in honor of my soon to be ten year old little darlin’. Now I’m sure this is something that every mom (or dad) has gone through with little kids. The night before or the morning of, you get that “oh, by the way, I need (such and such).” You fill in the blanks. Costume for the school play? A birthday treat? Cookies made using the same recipe they might have used during the Civil War because that’s what they’re studying in class? You fill in the blanks.

Or in my case yesterday … while digging through the little darlin’s backpack, I found a notice that the cookie dough the school was selling for a fund raiser was ready for pick up … this afternoon between 3:15 and 5:00. Terrific. I work until 5:00 and then have a twenty minute car ride from downtown Milwaukee to St. Francis. With the amount of work I had on my desk, leaving early wasn’t an option. Luckily I was able to call the head of the PTO and she assured me she’d hang around until 5:15. In the meantime, hubby called at 4:45 to say they were done with the dentist and on their way home. Bonus! I sent both he and the little darlin’ off to get the cookie dough and saved myself the aggravation of swearing at every traffic holdup that would keep me from making that 5:15 deadline.

Personally, I think little kids excel in forgetting important little things like this. But I’ll tell ya … it makes every parent absolutely nuts.

Any stories to share?

Okay, here’s where we start with the good news and move on to the crappy news.

First off, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that my friend and babysitter was just diagnosed with breast cancer. The good news is that “B” had a lumpectomy and is doing fantastic. Turns out the tumor was about the size of an eraser, the flesh around the tumor was clean and the lymphnodes are all clean. Yay for “B”! Now they’re just gonna do some radiation as a precaution and she should be home free. If you gotta have breast cancer, that’s the way to have it.

I understand “D” is doing well and having (or had) a hellava time in Norway. According to her journal/blog she was having some problems, but nothing conclusive. So keep in mind that any wonky bloodwork could be the result of an infection if you don’t have any other symptoms. Find out first, “D”, before assuming the worse.

Haven’t heard from “R” in Seattle, but I’m bettin’ she’s fine.

So, then onto the sh*tty news. Got my tumor markers the other day and I had quite the jump. Went from 83 to 235. This is the result of being on Femara for a month with no other treatment. Wanted to see if my numbers would stabilize after the Ixempra. Well, I guess we have the answer to that. This test was taken before the triple boost of Herceptin that I got two weeks ago. I’ve since had another dose of Herceptin and have been on Femara. I’ll be seeing Dr. D in the early part of July, so we’ll see what the numbers look like then. If they’re still wonky, its back to chemo … which would be a great pity because my hair really looks cute now.

Don’t know ‘bout you, but I’m getting a little sick of constantly riding the roller coaster. I allowed myself about a day to feel sorry for myself and then told myself to snap out of it. No negative thoughts or emotions allowed in the Kreger household. But, y’know … I’d really like to do a year or two (or ten) without having to worry about recurrences. Not too much to ask, in my opinion.

And Remember …“YOU ARE A CANCER WARRIOR”