Don’t know if its because I’ve now gone four weeks without chemo, but I’m feelin’ pretty damned good. Could be psychological … but hey, I’m not arguing. Got a little more energy, a bit more rested, and a tad more enthusiastic. Funny how I didn’t realize how down I was. But then, given that we’re in the dead of winter in Wisconsin, that would get anyone down.

Something else I’d noticed while on Ixempra. Didn’t think much of it at the time, but it felt like my entire body was a little sensitized. Mostly my skin. I know my ankles weren’t swollen, yet wearing socks always left a distinct mark in the skin and a slight pain. Hell, just having my nine year old leaning against me while we sat watching television was uncomfortable. How sad is that?

Anyway, even though it has been only four weeks, I’m pretty sure the hands and feet are improving. They’re still slightly numb, but I don’t think it’s quite as bad as they were. Particularly with the finger tips. I can feel them a bit better than previous and I’m no longer hobbling around like an old woman with physically painful feet. The numbness is still in the toes and the heel, but I’m counting on that fading.

Again, this lessening could be psychological (i.e. wishful thinkin’), but at this point I’ll take what I can get.

There’s always a chance I’ll have to go back on Ixempra … and if its necessary, you’re damned straight I will. Can’t argue with the positive numbers. I’ll no doubt get the same numbing side affects but when you think about it, they aren’t too horrid. To be blunt, I’d say six feet under is far more horrid, IMO.

And Remember …“YOU ARE A CANCER WINNER”

If you’ve been in the writing game for awhile, you’ll know that there are a couple of hundred (if not more) writing workshops offered via the internet … everything from character building to learning how to construct the perfect synopsis. I’ve participated in a couple of workshops, but personally I really don’t find them useful. Now, this is just my own opinion because I know of plenty of people who come away from workshops inspired.

I guess its sorta like reading “how-to” books on writing. I could never get into them. Don’t know if I’m afraid that I’ll hear that my methods are all wrong and will therefore mess myself up trying to “fix” what appears to be working for me. Then there’s the time suck. Just don’t have the time to devote to a workshop … particularly one that interactive.

Every writer’s style is individual. Some people need workshops to discover the flaw in their writing style. There may be a problem and he/she just couldn’t quite figure out what it was. The workshop they took made them realize what they were doing wrong. Okay, that works for them.

Everyone needs help once in awhile. I’m glad there are workshops offered and the internet does make them accessible. If you find them helpful … more power to you.

I was supposed to have my fifth round of chemo yesterday. (You’ll notice the past tense). Did the usual bloodwork, answered the usual 101 questions by the nurse and saw Dr. D before I was scheduled to go to infusion. Well, after my examination, we chatted. Seeing how I’ve been having so much trouble with my hands and feet, he decided to give me a break from the chemo.

That, in and of itself would have alarmed me, because why mess with what’s working? I would have tolerated the foot and hand problems. (With some complaining, of course). However, Dr. D also said that my tumor markers are continuing to drop.

As I mentioned before, I was originally at 218 when I started this treatment. Dropped to 92 a few weeks ago and am now at 57. The doctor says that with Ixempra, the numbers should continue to drop … even after the chemo is discontinued. PLUS … I won’t have to go see Dr. D until the end of February. That’s nearly six weeks without a doctor’s visit! Nearly six weeks without having to see the oncology nurses! Nearly six weeks without bloodwork!

Right now, I am one happy camper and am popping some cyber champagne. We’ll see if my extremities go back to normal without the continued chemo. We’ll see how long it takes my hair to come back and we’ll see if my numbers continue to drop. Lots to look forward to.

And Remember …“YOU ARE A CANCER WINNER”

This is going to be a rather short blog, since I’m running late in getting it posted … gee, the story of my life.

I’m happy to say that I think I’m on the last chapter of my vampire story. I say “think” because with my writing, I never quite know when its going to wrap up. Sometimes if feels like all of sudden … its done! Gotta love that. However, I do have one last scene that I’d written months ago that will be part of the ending. It all depends how long I make this chapter … and it may be long because this is the great climax. The final fight. So there just might be one last chapter after this one to wrap up the story and to get the characters in place for the next book. I do intend to give the secondary characters their own stories. One for certain. The others? Maybe. We’ll see how this goes.

Then, there’s the third Science Fiction/Romance that I intend to write for Samhain. I want one more book to round out the first two “Promise” books. I have a very rough outline/story line that I’d like to present to my editor and get her okay to continue with it.

However, before I begin any new projects, I do intend to revise “Darkness Before the Dawn”. See Edie? I’m now ready to tackle that project. I think I just needed a little distance from it. I find myself now eager to get on it.

So, those are my upcoming projects. Here’s hoping the next stories come out as easy as the vampire story did. Anyone else got any interesting projects? I love hearing how other writers manage to juggle the “voices in their heads” and how they decide which project is ready to address.

Last Monday I had my nurse’s visit over at Oncology Alliance. When a patient is going through chemo treatment, you gotta go in once a week to make sure everything is going okay. This involves blood work, checking temperature and blood pressure and being asked a thousand questions ranging from whether you’re experiencing any dizziness to “how are your bowels?”. No rock is left unturned and no question left unanswered. Not a problem.

This week my blood work numbers were a little down. This isn’t like the tumor markers where the numbers going down is a good thing. This involves the white blood cell count and a number of other indicators that I don’t understand but nod and pretend I know what they’re talking about. As long as the nurses and the doctor is happy, I’m happy. A few of my numbers were down but still within the required parameters. So we’re good to go.

It wasn’t until I was driving back to work and was less than a half mile away that I realized my oncology nurse, “S”, neglected to remove the needle from my port. How both of us forgot about it is beyond me. No, I didn’t feel it because that portion of my chest is half numb from the reconstruction and as we were chatting, I’d had the syringe portion of the needle tucked into my bra to keep it out of the way. (Out of sight, too, apparently).

When I got to work, I called “S” and she said we had two options. I could come back to the clinic at some point during the day, or I could remove it myself. Seeing how I didn’t want to travel across town again, I opted for door number two. It was really quite easy, but I was freaking out one of my co-workers who decided to watch. “S” instructed me to fold the two tabs in, grasp it firmly and just pull. There was a little resistence but it came out fairly easily. Viola! The needle was removed. I felt so accomplished. I then carefully wrapped it in tissue and papertowel and double wrapped it in a bag. It wasn’t necessary to worry about biohazard because the needle was never used for chemo. Just drawing blood and injecting saline (or whatever they use to clean the lines).

So, it just goes to show you that even a needle chicken like myself can deal with needle removal when necessary.

And Remember …“YOU ARE A CANCER WINNER”