I was thinking of the response I gave Michelle last week on my last Cancer Winner blog. I called myself an “Expert Extraordinaire”. Yep, that’s me. Despite all the crap I’ve been through, it really is sorta interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I would have much rather skipped all this sh*t, but I truly think the experience of having cancer has made me a better person.

When my SIL was first diagnosed about ten years before me, I was able to say all the sympathetic stuff, yadda, yadda, yadda, but could I really relate at that time? Absolutely not. Now I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I can, with all sincerity and knowledge offer advice to someone going through this for the first time. And you know what? It feels good to be able to do that.

I’ve spoken with women who were going through treatment, those who were just diagnosed, was able to hold more than one hand … whether physically or over the phone, and hope that something I’ve offered helped her get over this horrible hurdle.

Who knows … maybe there was a reason for me to get cancer. I truly believe that it takes a very strong person to endure any type of infliction, whether its cancer, heart disease, MS … whatever. If I can do a little good along the way? Bonus.

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Incidently, the radiation treatments are going okay. We have some swelling of the brain, which gave me a non-stop headache yesterday despite the Advil munching I was doing, so Dr. O put me back on the Decatron (I know I just butchered the spelling). It’s a steroid that’s supposed to bring down the swelling. I woke this morning sans headache and feel pretty damn good. Now I just have to deal with the munchies that this drug is going to give me. Gotta take the good with the bad … now where did I put those crackers?

Repeat after me …“YOU ARE A CANCER WINNER”

Any writer will tell you that they gotta be in the mood to write. Fortunately, we’re pretty much in the mood all the time. Unfortunately, those moods usually coincide when you have other obligations, like the day job, shopping for school supplies, making the family dinner. Its when you actually have the time to sit down and write that the mood flies right out the window and you’re left staring at a blank screen. Maddening, ain’t it?

Forcing it can sometimes get you into the mood, but will what you’d written be any good? Yes and no. You’ve advanced the story, but in what direction? There are pros and cons to writing when you’re not in the mood.

However, since I AM in the mood and its 5:30 in the morning, I’m gonna cut this blog short and go get to work on my current WIP. I gotta trash an entire chapter and start with scratch. No, not because I was writing when I wasn’t in the mood, it was because of some facts that came up in my research. That just made the process a little more interesting.

Well, I met with the radiology team last week … great bunch of people. Made me feel very comfortable, nice facilities, efficient staff. What more can you ask.

Regina was in charge of the prep work which involved creating a mask of my face. Talk about freaky. This is a soft mesh piece of material that when warm is very flexible. They stretched it over my face to make a mask. They shaped it to my features and as it cooled, it hardened. This is to keep my head still while going through the radiation treatment. What’s cool is I get to keep it after I’m done. I’ll be all set for Halloween. I gotta say … this sure beats getting my head shaved and tattooed. Evidently they’ll be able too mark the mask for the parameters of treatment.

I didn’t start treatment immediately. Dr. O came in (probably to reassure me) and asked if I had any questions. Naturally I didn’t at the time, but thought of a few afterward. They did another CT scan and gave me my schedule. Not early morning that I would have preferred, but I’ll be going in daily at 11:45 … over my lunch hour. The first treatment is scheduled for tomorrow and I’m looking forward to it. If this is anything like the treatment to my hip seven years ago, the relief should be immediate.

These headaches are getting to be a drag and munching on Advil is getting old.

Repeat after me …“YOU ARE A CANCER WINNER”

What do you do when you have two terrific story ideas and want to work on both. Each is very different from the other and you literally have to switch gears in order to work on either one. Well, being the masochist that I am, I go ahead and work on both. I’m currently revising an urban fantasy set in the future and am working on a contemporary vampire story. The former is written in the first person and the latter written in third person. The urban fantasy is very light on the romance and the paranormal is going to be exceedingly sensual.

Two very different books … but that might be good. It forces me to stretch those mental muscle and to explore writing methods. I even have different music that I listen to while writing one or the other. Something a little dreamy and calm for the fantasy and hard pounding rock for the paranormal. Hey, whatever works.

I’m enjoying this experiment. Sure, it makes for slow going since I’m at the revision stage of the fantasy and the creative stage for the paranormal. Some would say I should knock it off and concentrate on the book that’s nearly finished and put the paranormal on the back burner, but I can’t do that. My second lover is calling to me and won’t be put off. What can I do but indulge in both my loves.

I met with Dr. Carl Olsen last Friday. It was pretty much a meet and greet sorta thing. He’d been my radiologist when I had my first recurrence five years ago. This was mostly to talk with me, give me a physical, ask how I’ve been and what treatment I’ve had in the last five years. A pep talk was thrown in there for good measure.

He also outlined the treatment we’ll be doing. Evidently the position of the spot … I won’t call it a tumor. I see it more as a shadow on the bone … is in unusual position at the base of the skull where the skull feeds into the spinal cord. Lovely, eh? Gotta do these things difficult, don’t I? The up side is that the technology has advanced in the past five years where they’re able to calibrate and target the area with fine precision. In other words, they won’t have to radiate any excess surrounding areas. This is good. I can so do without a fried brain.

There will be the usual side effects (if I get them … and I don’t tend to). Some hair loss, fatigue, nausea, yadda, yadda, yadda. The hair loss and fatigue I expect … but dammit! Can’t they throw in some weight loss too?

Anyway, I have another appointment today with Dr. Olsen’s radiology team. We’ll be doing prep work, schedule appointments and perhaps get in the first zap. This will go on for about four to six weeks (daily) and we’ll see what the CAT scan shows afterwards. The prep work involves fitting me with a mask-like helmet to hold my head immobile during treatment, perhaps shaving the back of my head and the tattooed dots to mark the parameter.

So let the games begin!

Repeat after me …“YOU ARE A CANCER WINNER”